…and perhaps didn’t want to.
This is, however, 2018, and the need to be transparent is overwhelming me. Plus some of them are kinda strange as I thought of ’em.
- I grew up in a two-bedroom house with four sisters, a mother and a grandmother. An isolated male buoy in the middle of an estrogen ocean. Some say “that explains a lot.” I say “I learned to pee outside well before my peers.”
- My grandfather was a Special Ranger in the Texas Rangers before it became part of the Texas Department of Public Safety in 1935.
- My daughter Stephanie was born in Spain, and holds dual citizenship.
- I tested out of 83 of my undergraduate credit hours. Gotta love the military’s free CLEP and ACT/Pep tests and programs.
- My mom and my baby sister passed away at nearly the same time. Their services were a week and a day apart. Family matters.
- My genealogy includes being related to Robert Wilhelm Bunsen, the dude who invented the bunsen burner (high school chemistry shenanigans!)
- I once had to run 500 bleachers for getting busted with beer while on my high school golf team. Coach with no sense of humor whatsoever.
- My mom had to call my HS English teacher to see if I should be at commencement. That’s how bad my high school grades were. In my defense, who the hell studies MacBeth for an entire year??
- I used to be a runner, clocking 30+ miles per week.
- I served in the United States Air Force for 13 years, 8 months and 13 days. I almost enlisted in the Marines, as they were going to allow me in right away without my right index finger (needed a waiver for USAF)–the Marine recruiter told me to just claim I was left-handed, and that “they didn’t give a shit.”
- My first corporate job after leaving the USAF? Engineering Recruiter for Management Recruiters Int’l. Averaged over 90 calls per day. Second job? Resume writer at Sears Resume Service.
- My son Stephen was born exactly one year after I enlisted.
- I used to be a scratch (or better) golfer. Damn, those days are gone…
- I made only one B in all my college courses (all the rest A’s). In Meteorology. The instructor was my racquetball partner; he later told me he had no idea, and that he would have given me an A if he’d known he was breaking some sort of record. Asshole.
- I’ve only had one cell number, and I got it in 1991 (one of those early flip-phones that got hot as hell). I dropped two Motorola StarTac phones into the toilet the same week. Also had a Palm Pilot, and one of those honkin’ big Kyocera 6035s, one of the first with internet access. Mr. Technology, that’s me.
That’s a wrap…